I’m typing this from bed, where I’ve been all day. (I took a selfie as proof.) Since the early hours of the morning when I returned home after a night out at Harringtons (LOVE that place – only just discovered it!).
I feel so happy. Warm and numb like nothing matters (it probably doesn’t) coupled with my favourite feelings: excited and hopeful to start a brand new week tomorrow. I know its coming and I’ll be bright eyed and busy tailed, ready to hop to it at full productive force but right now, I get to just be here. In full sloth mode. To do sweet nothing, the whole day.
I’ve given myself permission because, shame, poor me, I’m hungover. I’m tired from the late night filled with moet and dancing and talking and satiated with the general delightfulness of being in that theatre like non reality of a dimly lit, musically vibrating club, at midnight.
I dragged myself out to socialise because ‘you’ve gotta get out there; ‘make an effort’;’I’m still young’; ‘it could be fun’ and all the other reasons I convinced myself that yet another night staying in watching netflix and eating chuckles wasn’t the best idea. Wasn’t ‘normal’…
I did the right thing. Dressed up. Looked good. Partied. Didn’t get the ‘cool girl’ instagram pic (Damnit. Fail.) just more of the awkward ‘not for social media pics’ and now I get the true reward:
The 17 pleasures of a hangover.
I went out on a Saturday night! Who’s the loser who sat at home filing accounting slips all day now? Not me! I’m a fun person!
10 years ago, I was 24. Living with my long term boyfriend in the house we’d built, running my business (I’m always doing that) and certainly NOT popping bottles of champagne on a Saturday night. A decade later, I’m younger now than I felt then! It’s like my age is a decade reversed. Living my 20’s with the wisdom of my 30’s. What is age to ageless?
3: Profound thoughts
What is age to the ageless? I like that one. Like ‘Pleasures of a hangover’. So many abstract things to muddle through in this blissful foggy state of unconsciousness.
3: Time travel
Hello hangover, my old friend. When I feel you, I remember times before. I revisit the past lives of the different people I was then. And I’m grateful to be here now instead.
4: Self love
What a great way to practice acceptance, non judgement and care when your hanging like a bat? Instead of shaming yourself, feeling guilty and bad (for what?), you can use the opportunity to love yourself more – as you are: smudged mascara and messy hair.
5: Flash backs
Moments of the previous night’s shenanigans that pop into your head in little bursts. Everyone is so loving, joyful and friendly in their club-states. People you haven’t seen in ages. Familiar faces. Dance moves. Tequila – did I/ didn’t I?
6: Surprises on your phone
Oh look who I texted at 2.30am! I spoke to that person on the phone? Twice? That’s interesting! I wonder what I was doing in that pic?
I’m going to give my body exactly what it wants. Pies for breakfast? No problem. How about some chocolate to snack on? What other pleasures can I give myself today?
I’ll wear my onesie all day if I want to and I do. Today I am a warm pink flamingo.
Ah the sweet sensation of day sleeping. Cosy under the covers. More and more sleep. Making up for lost night time. Who cares if the sun is shining outside? I have block out lined curtains. I’ll sleep when I want to. And I’ll do it a lot.
10: Non starting
I don’t have to do anything today. I wouldn’t be able to – my brain is fried, I tell myself. I may attempt a few things but then remind myself – that’s for Monday sweet child, today is the sweet sabbath. Rest dear one.
11: Doing nothing
I get to do, nothing. And writing a random blog post about it is not considered doing much for me. Writing is breathing with the assistance of a key board. Meditation I’ll skip today, but wanting to write? I’d never want to curb that desire.
What better way to recover than through screen entertainment. Binge watch if you must (you must). I wanted the animation “Sing” – crazy; cute; delightful.
After a day of indulgence and sleeping, the best ‘to do’ is to eat more. Pizza for dinner? Add extra avo! I need to soak up the alcohol and what better thing to do the trick than carbo and fat loading?
Thoughts sludge through my mind but few stick. Not the usual rapid brain on fire state that I perpetually live in. Every reaction is slowed down to steady and still.
- Who am I?
- What am I doing?
- What do I want?
I get to reflect on some of my favourite profound thoughts and because of the stillness, they don’t bother or stress me out.
- I’m hungover (some kind of half version of me)
- Doing nothing and I want exactly what I’ve got:
- Warmth; comfort; food
16: Life paused
This limbo in-between state of non efficiency – this hanging between life and sleep is an opportunity to literally pause life. I’ve heard you can access it though years of meditation, practising yoga, spirituality OR you can lightning path it there through alcohol consumption. It’s not a sustainable option but you get the idea that it’s possible.
17: The repeat probability
There are pleasurable and painful hangovers. No one likes a throbbing headache. Practice makes perfect and it takes years to find your happy medium of enough but not too much to access the perfect hangover state, post party.
Here’s a magical secret I’ve learned:
Everything I love about feeling how I do now, and doing what I’m doing now, are accessible states I can repeat for myself and get this: not just through drinking.
I’ve tested the theory by giving myself what I thought were ‘hangover days’ anyway.
Days when I lie on my couch, warm in onesie, covered in blankets, watching movies, eating everything delicious I want, taking time out from the world and anything productive to just chill. I allow myself to be warm and satiated with food and empty my mind of tomorrow’s concerns by focusing it instead on entertaining movies, and alternative online realities. I do exactly as I please. Responsible only to myself. I access joyful, bliss. Days that are all up to me, for me. Pure and gentle pleasure. Days like these are possible whenever I gift them to myself. The more I do, the kinder I feel and the more deeply I feel I deserve the soft nurturing love that I (and all of us) are so perfectly equipped and able to give to ourselves.
And the best part is that I didn’t do anything, or drink anything to deserve them. I just do them for me. And you can too 🙂